Relationship questions are the most common reason people consult the I Ching, and the most common reason they come away disappointed. The problem is usually the question, not the answer.
Why "does he love me" fails
The I Ching does not answer questions about another person's internal state. It describes situations and their direction. A question framed as "does X feel Y" cannot be answered by a system that reads configurations, so you get a hexagram about your own situation instead — which is useful, but not what you asked.
The problem with "should I stay"
It looks like a better question, but it still asks for a verdict on a binary you constructed. What it cannot do is tell you what staying actually costs, or what you would be choosing between. Those are the questions the text can address.
Better framings
| Instead of | Ask |
|---|---|
| Does he love me? | What is the real state of this relationship? |
| Should I marry him? | What would this marriage ask of me? |
| Will we get back together? | What is unfinished between us? |
| Is he the one? | What am I not seeing about this? |
The pattern: move from verdict to description. Ask what something is, what it asks of you, or what you are missing — not whether it will happen.
What a good answer looks like
A useful I Ching response usually reframes the question rather than confirming your framing. If the answer feels like it is telling you that you asked the wrong thing, that is normally the reading working.
It also tends to be about conduct. The texts consistently advise what to do inside a situation rather than what will happen to it — Hexagram 63 says to prepare for misfortune in advance, not that misfortune is coming.
One question at a time
Asking two questions in one cast produces an answer that fits neither. If you genuinely have two questions, cast twice, on separate occasions, and let the first one settle.
A note on timing
Relationship questions carry more urgency than most, which is exactly when the I Ching is least useful. If you are mid-argument, the reading will describe the argument rather than the relationship.
Waiting a few days usually costs nothing and changes the question you are able to ask.
On asking about someone else
The rule that the I Ching answers about your situation rather than another person's state is not a limitation to work around. It is closer to the point: the only thing you can act on is your own position.